Lately I've been feeling far from healthy, I'm psychically exhasuted.. And I do this to myself, I let this happen.


Today, well actually it started last night right before I went to bed, I've been feeling terrible. God, I can't even really describe how I'm feeling right now, but I'm doing a tad bit better than this morning. I went to back with slight cramps in my stomach... I went to bed at.. 4 am or so (I know.. friggin' "late") and I woke up at 7 with immense aches in my stomach.. Took some asperine to tone it down a little but an hour later it got me again.. Normally it just goes away on it's own, but it kept coming back. I was nauseous and I couldn't get myself to sleep again. I even googled on my phone what I could do to ease the pain, took some more asperine and slept for a few hours more only to let my sister wake me up to walk the dog.

The whole day I've been just lying around.. Feeling miserable and trying to get some things done.. But as expected I only slept and sat a bit. At something since I did feel hungry at some point. But right now it came back again..

I'm slowly starting to realise that I'm doing something terribly wrong.. I'm not taking good care of myself and I really.. really need to change the way live right now. I'm already glad enough nothing else is fucking up my stamina and immune system.. It's just me, not taking good care of myself.

I want that to change.. I'll go sleep earlier than I want, and change my diet as it is now.. Which might be difficult cuz I'm what you call a "mood-eater", I eat more than I should when I'm in a bad mood.. So yeah, I'm going to try change that about me as well..

So there. One last thing, to everyone I've been being a bitch to yesterday.. I'm really sorry, I didn't mean it like that. It was just because I felt like crap.. It still doesn't give me the right to being a douche to you all. I'm trying to get there.. Step by step.

Another thing I'll be doing to get a bit healthier.. I've been dancing a lot lately, mostly nico nico douga routines.. I was thinking of working on a cover every 2 weeks, then film myself doing a cover of it and upload it on my youtube channel.. I wanna see myself progress in something I like. So.. Yeah, you'll prolly see me dancing a lot the upcoming time .w.'